When we last met Suzi, she’d started to understand how deeply her relationship with money mirrored her relationships with people. Not just in love, but in safety, worth, and the pressure to prove she was enough.
And with this new understanding came new questions.
When having money doesn’t feel like ease
Suzi was financially comfortable, there was no immediate problem to solve, and no crisis to fix. And yet, beneath the surface, she felt unsure – it was a feeling of slight naivety, and as though she was rather uneducated when it came to money.
She didn’t really understand it.
Of course, because she had money other people in her life assumed she knew exactly what she was doing. Family members saw her wealth and expected generosity. People around her believed she had it all figured out and that money meant confidence, freedom, and certainty.
But Suzi didn’t experience it that way.
Instead, expectation often weighed heavy on her with a subtle pressure to spend, to give, to step in. She felt an unspoken sense that if something needed paying for, fixing, or smoothing over, she would be the one to do it.
From the outside, to everyone else, her life looked like freedom. But from the inside, for Suzi, it felt like responsibility masquerading as freedom.
And underneath it all was a quiet, persistent thought:
There must be something else.
The unspoken story about money and enjoyment
So many of us go through life absorbing ideas without ever questioning them, and particularly around money. One such idea is that if you have money, you should be spending it and enjoying it – basically, doing something “visible” with it.
If you’re not, it can feel as though you’re holding back, missing out, and even doing something wrong.
Suzi resonated with this.
She could recognise how often she spent, not from desire, but from expectation. Buying gifts because it felt easier than explaining herself. Saying yes because saying no felt uncomfortable. Using money to keep things flowing smoothly, even when it left her feeling slightly disconnected from herself.
This way of relating to money is also a version of the golden cage – one not built from lack, but from assumption that comes from both your inner world, and the outer world from others.
And it’s a place many people find themselves in, especially when money has always been there but understanding about it hasn’t.
Learning to be with money, not perform with it
The work Suzi and I did together wasn’t about turning her into a different person, or suddenly making her “good” with money. It was about slowing things down enough for her to understand what she wanted, and what mattered to her.
We explored how to give money a job – not as a rigid system, but as a way of creating clarity and calm.
We explored money for…
Enjoyment
The future
Safety
Growth
Generosity – given freely, without expectation or pressure
As Suzi’s understanding grew, something shifted. She stopped feeling naïve, and as though she was behind. And she stopped assuming she should be doing more.
In its place came a quiet confidence, and, perhaps more importantly, confirmation that she was already enough, exactly where she was.
The art of spending and not explaining
I introduced Suzi to an idea shared by Morgan Housel in The Art of Spending – a simple but powerful reminder that money doesn’t need to be visible to be meaningful.
Housel speaks about the importance of discretion – of not positioning yourself as “the one with money”, because of the expectations that can follow. Not to hide, but to protect your relationships, your boundaries, and your sense of ease.
This resonated deeply with Suzi.
She realised she didn’t owe clarity about her finances to anyone else, and she didn’t need to justify how she spent, saved, or indeed chose not to spend if that’s what she wanted. There was a huge relief in recognising that spending wasn’t a performance, and restraint wasn’t in any way deprivation.
Suzi understood that there’s wisdom in knowing when to spend as well as when not to.
Freedom looks different than we imagine
As Suzi’s relationship with money shifted, so did her relationships.
Not through big conversations or explanations, but through the energy she now carried because she felt less urgency and reactivity, and less need to meet invisible expectations.
She learned again and again how to give money a job that reflected her values, her relationships, and her future, rather than other people’s assumptions and expectations.
And with that, money gently moved back into its rightful place.
Not as proof of who she was, not as pressure from herself or others, but as a support for the life she wanted to live.
A new beginning, chosen from within
I hope you can see that Suzi’s story isn’t about doing more with money. It’s about doing less from obligation, and more from intention.
Suzi discovered that her freedom isn’t rooted in exuberant spending or bigger gestures – it comes from choice.
Choosing when to spend, when to save, when to give, and importantly, when to say no.
And choosing relationships grounded in love, not expectation.
If Suzi’s story feels familiar, I want you to know this: you don’t need to spend your money to enjoy it, explain it to protect it, or perform with it to be worthy. Sometimes the most powerful shift is simply learning to give money a job that serves your life – quietly, purposefully, and in flow with who you truly are and what you desire.
That’s where freedom lives.
Ready for more? Take my Money Quiz and find out what’s unconsciously influencing your money story – because clarity is the first step to change. Once you’ve taken the quiz, you’ll be invited to book a discovery call with me, where together we can bring even more understanding to your results and start looking at new opportunities for you.
